Alright men of the first world, I have some really bad news: there’s a strong chance the woman in your life is having an emotional affair.  I know.  It’s hard to swallow.  Give yourself a minute to process this.

It’s likely been going on for over a year now. Unbeknownst to you, she’s been comparing you both (particularly on Wednesdays), considering why your words and actions appear inadequate compared to his. She may be questioning why you don’t always have the perfect thing to say or do, or why your patience isn’t endless.  There’s a strong chance she has also wondered why you can’t grow a thick ‘stache and slick back your hair on the reg.

They typically meet on Tuesday nights at or around 9pm.

There is good news, however. The man she has become emotionally entangled with? He doesn’t actually exist. He’s a character on a television show. Phew. What a relief, right?

Even more good news awaits you – there are just a few easy steps you can take to become just like Jack (take notes, please):

• hire a top notch primetime television drama series writer to orchestrate your conversations
• completely forsake what you love to do for the sake of your family for at least two decades
• always (and I mean, always) be tender, gentle, loving, consistent, humble, grateful, strong, agreeable, and kind
• never let yourself be a product of the environment you grew up in
• keep a collection of all your families mementos in a safe place, like the bathroom

If the above sounds like an overwhelming place to start, you can easily begin by loving your lady well, prioritizing your family, demonstrating integrity, practicing patience, and growing in humility.

There you have it. Do with it what you will.

…

Ladies, hear me out for a second. Who doesn’t land somewhere on the crying spectrum between a subtle flow of tears to ugly, heaving sobs during This Is Us? Come on, now.  The show is a masterpiece.  The characters are deep.  We’re invested.

That’s all well and good.  What’s not well and good is comparing the man in our life to Jack Pearson. Don’t pretend like you haven’t done it. Let’s be honest with ourselves. The man has become an idol to women across America and beyond. Unfortunately, he is a pre-planned, scripted character who, wait for it…also happens to be an alcoholic (gasp).

Let’s not let a television show dictate how we feel about our real-life relationships, especially our marriages. That’s dangerous (and shallow) ground to tread. We’re better than that. How would you feel if he was constantly comparing you to Khaleesi, Rachel Green, or June Cleaver?  Where are your dragons and whimsical yet sexy wardrobes?  Why aren’t you that hilarious? Why doesn’t your hair look that good all the time? Why don’t you always wear a smile and an apron?

All this to say, please appreciate your husband. Be patient with him as he grows into the best version of himself.  Hope he does the same for you. He’s perfectly imperfect, just like you. Treat him like the man you know he can be and gently point him in the right direction with love and grace. He is not beneath you, and he is certainly not beneath Jack Pearson. He is a real, living and breathing human, who probably feels disrespected when brought into question by a fictional character.

Now, please continue to watch arguably the best show on primetime television. Grab a box of tissues, and hang in there as we mourn the loss of Jack.  But please also keep a firm grasp on reality.